Frosty Nightmares

Anyone that knows me just a little bit will tell you that I have some of the strangest things happen to me, things that no one else has ever had to deal with. The one in a million encounter or event seems to plague me. Anyone that knows me will also tell you how much I despise the cold. I grew up in northern Illinois and that place in the winter is about one of the worst places I have ever been. The wind that howls makes it feel like the cold weather is reaching inside of you and rattling your very essence. Sometimes northern Illinois gets snow which can pile up higher then the vehicle. Some people may say that looks pretty, give it half a day and the state of Illinois will ruin that too. That wonderful winter wonderland becomes a gray, sloshy mess that wherever you go you just feel dirty and oh, do not forget you are bone cold. You will find when I talk about Illinois, I loath it with a passion. Ask me why and I will have a list longer then you care to sit still for. Before I run down that bunny trail too far, let's get back to the real reason of this post. It is intended to share an experience, maybe something similar has happened to you, my guess is probably not, but in all good stories there is a way to tell it. I am not much of a story teller but I will do my best, (I much prefer to listen then to talk if I have my way). The "Frosty Nightmare" is actually going to be two stories into one. I will break down one and then the other as they happened. So as we move along in all good stories the initial scene is normally set, so here it goes.

Both of these stories occurred before I married my beautiful wife which I think is a blessing that she did not have to be a part of the miserable experiences but also she did not have to deal with my tendency to get quite cranky during situations like this. The first story was in my first year living in this property. I was working at a boarding school for troubled boys and that was really limiting my time at home. I was closing in on the holiday season and I had just been denied a week of vacation where I was hoping to have some time off and possibly see family for the Christmas season, as I lived in the area by myself with the nearest friend and family being 8 hours away. I was at work for what just happened to be a day or two before Christmas Eve, it was a beautiful 60 degree day with the weather calling for potential flurries over night. Oh yeah, not uncommon for the southern Ozarks, you can somehow have multiple seasons all wrapped into one day.

On a side note, one of the reasons I moved here was the weather was warmer more consistently year round then where I was raised and there was less snow. Since moving here I have experienced weeks of negative temperatures, over a foot of snow in a single night, ice that brought down trees and just the brutality of winter that was not mentioned when researching this area. Also, the ever present dagger of the locals looking at you and saying "this weather ain't normal" or "hell, I've lived here all my life and have never seen anything like this". I can tell you if I hear this one more time I will just about lose my temper because after 4 years of this you are either not remembering correctly or obviously this is how things are now.

So back to the story, I am at work and its a relatively relaxing day no issues and the boys are having an off day; meaning they get to play games, relax and there are no major issues. About an hour left in my shift the temperature starts to drop from 60 degrees to about 35 degrees as the sun goes down. Upon driving home my windshield is getting pelted with ice and is freezing as I am driving. So after working a 12 hour shift I am driving home at about 9 pm hanging out the window with the heat blaring so I can see slightly. Which is not succeeding much as I am creeping along on the dark country roads getting pelted with ice crystals. I finally make it home and since it was 60 degrees during the day I did not leave with a winter jacket so I am frozen trying to run around to take care of my dog and chickens. It is pitch black and the temperature is dropping because now the wind is howling out of the north strong enough to choke your very soul. I finally get inside and get the heat bumped up to 68. Start into the slow process of getting things ready for the next day, making some food for dinner and settling down for a quiet evening. As I settle into my favorite recliner and read for an hour or so, before falling asleep, I check the weather and see that the temperature is hovering around 5 degrees and the wind is howling as if a freight train is passing by with the ice crystals slapping the house. I figure lets bump the heat up a few extra just in case so I put it up to 70 degrees. My thought was this would be enough to keep the house warm. Well... my morning could not have proved this differently.

I wake up the next day and get to my routine the day before Christmas Eve. Take care of the animals and then make breakfast. I get in from the now arctic tundra, glad I haven't fallen on all the ice and grumbling how this cold weather is the worst thing in the world. I start to make my breakfast and while getting water for my coffee from the faucet I notice the pressure is not great. This is not uncommon in an older house and figured my filter was dirty, I clean it and still it is worse. I am not thinking anything of it and I am hearing something that sounds like a small hiss. I stop what I am doing and go to the bathroom to see if the pressure is bad there. The moment I opened up the line I have water start pouring on my head. Curious because I am not standing in a shower and last I checked a sink faucet does not do that. I am in a full blown panic now. Running to turn the water off, cussing and using words that should not be uttered except in extreme anger. I am desperately trying to find the leak which turned out to be in the ceiling which then proceeded to crumble on top of my head from all the water which had been leaking for quite some time. While poking around up there I hear a small pop and the screw driver I was using became quite warm. I had hit an exposed electrical wire that popped the breaker, which most people know water and electricity do not mix. So now I am shutting the power off in the dead of winter and I have no water besides the residue that is pouring on my head. No power which means no heat and it is barely 10 degrees outside. Some would say this is a pretty bad start of the day but I am sad to tell you that it just gets worse.

I do not want to be without power or water on Christmas so I am determined to get to the hardware store before it closes. I am rushing out of the house, put the keys in the engine and am met with the dreadful sound of nothing. The engine and battery do not make even a sound. Picture this, I am by myself standing on the winter landscape, aka nothing but ice, I have no water, no heat, no power and now my truck won't start. At this point every point of me is boiling with anger and frustration which are through the roof. If anyone could see me at the time they would have either laughed hysterically at my antics or fear I was insane.

I did the only thing I could do, I called for a ride which was thankfully quick to come. I explained the situation and he just shook his head at the timing of things. I asked him if we could go to town so I could get a new battery which he agreed and offered to take me to the hardware store so I did not have to go out again. We drove around and the first auto store was out of the battery I needed. Now, I normally do not take my frustration out on other people but at this point I was about ready to scream at everyone, but I kept my cool and we went down the road securing a battery from another store. We missed the timing of the hardware store because they closed due to the holiday which at this point I was starting to get desperate, just wanting something to go right. So we returned home and got the truck fired up, sure enough swapping the battery did the trick.

My help left me and I knew I had lost the battle on having water for Christmas but I was determined to have power and heat. Which I spent most of the day tearing apart the bathroom ceiling and finding the exposed wire so I could restore power. I also found out that in the space between the first and second floor there was a vent that was just billowing cold air into it. Some moron decided it was a great idea to run two water pipes directly in front of that vent and not try to wrap it in anything, so the repair took much longer then expected. As I had to stop the flow of air and prevent this from happening again, redo electrical, repair the pipe, installing a shut off valve just in case. Not even talking about the process of closing up the ceiling again. All this said and done, I went almost a month without water as I had to do major work to avoid this occurring again. I was washing my clothes and dishes from water from the lake and let me tell you, the bathing got done in rapid time when your dealing with water that has ice floating in it... but... needless to say at least I had heat. As, you can see this was an experience that I care never to repeat. I wrapped the pipe in heat tape, plugged the hole and to this day still run a heater in the bathroom as a precaution. It was a nightmare! Which leads me to the next snowy, "Frosty Nightmare", continuing after the pictures of the mess that was my bathroom and what it now looks like.

Demo Process and Repair Start

Destruction of the Bathroom

Final Results

The second story begins once again in winter and correlates to the first snowy picture that you see in this post. Looking at it now, it is one of the most beautiful pictures I have. It left me with an appreciation of winter, the snow completely untouched and not ruined by any human intervention. That picture was taken after we had just received over a foot of snow in less then 10 hours. Again, I will remind you when I was researching this area there was no mention of this type of snowfall, actually it was considered uncommon but of course it happened and you know what the locals said? You guessed it, "This isn't normal", ya ya ya, I have heard this before. So this one did not start off as bad as the other story. I woke up and enjoyed looking outside at the snow all piled up and untouched. I had heat, I had power and I had water at the moment. For all I knew, my truck was fine and I did not have to be at work until later that day. So I went to take care of the animals, stopped for some playtime in the snow with my pup, Freja, (she is an American Bulldog), who loves the first 10 minutes of snow and then wants nothing to do with it after that.

After getting back inside I figured let's go get the truck started so it can warm up and then I do not have to worry about cleaning it off in a rush before work. I go to start the truck and to my wonderful surprise it chokes and refuses to start. I am confused because the battery is relatively new and it sounds like it wants to start but it just cannot get fuel. So I step inside to start the diagnosis process, aka get warm while looking up articles and videos of this happening. While stepping back inside I realize the stove clock is blank and the house is getting a bit cold, I have no power. I go over and shut the water off shuttering with the idea of how long this power outage may occur, as I have come to learn after moving here I am the last one on the power line. So that wonderful app that shows how many people are without power, I was told after this storm, that once it shows less then 50 people are without power then I can start to get excited and this is from the power company. They straight up just told me I will be one of the last which will make sense later on in the story.

As they were not calling for this type of snow and I had no way of going anywhere, I decided that walking to check on my neighbors was a good idea. One of them being elderly and who has been quite helpful with advice upon moving down here. While beginning my walk to the neighbors, that is almost a mile if you follow my driveway out which in the snow it was necessary because in spots I was sinking to my knees. Never thought I would have needed show shoes in the southern Ozarks, but hey, this never happens. That snowy picture you saw was what greeted me on my first turn. Breath taking right? It was, I had to stop and just take in the beauty for awhile, the way the snow glittered in the sunlight. Upon venturing down the road I decided to see if I could shake the snow off the trees on my way to get the trees stood up as this was the only way out for me with a vehicle. Upon tugging at the first tree it snapped and fell, not a twig, but the entire tree. I proceeded to the next and it did the same thing. Every tree cracked under the weight of the snow and ice. So now I had a road covered in a foot of snow, trees littered across it, no power or water and my truck wouldn't start...again! At this point I figured I should call work and let them know I am not going to make it as this was going to take me awhile.

I proceeded to journey out to the county road and knock on my neighbor's door. Rather enjoying the walk in the snow as it was fun and there was not a trace of anyone else but myself and my dog, Freja. When I got to my neighbor's I knocked on the door and was met with one of the funniest things I have ever seen or heard in my life. The door flies open to him in nothing but his underwear and the first things out of his mouth is, "Oh, Shit! It snowed"! Now I couldn't stop myself from laughing because obviously he was fine and in no serious way. We spoke about the snow, he invited me inside which I respectively told him no, not as long as he wasn't wearing pants, which he understood and I told him I had a ton of work on my road to get back to. I said goodbye and heading back home laughing to myself the whole way until I remembered I had trees on the road and no way to pull them off as the truck was not running.

I decided to check the truck again which it sputtered and spit at me but no starting. Frustrated, I decided to get to work on the road. Grabbing my chainsaw and a rope I headed off to clear the trees off the drive. I also did not have an ATV or a tractor at the time. The process that occurred was I cut the tree into manageable pieces, tied a rope to it and the other end to my waist and pulled the tree out of the way. Essentially, I became the tractor or the mule to clear the road which took me the entire day. I have never before sweat through my clothes in the middle of winter but sure enough, I did. Now this is quite unpleasant when you have no power or heat in the house. My solution was to build a fire in my fire pit to dry off and get warm. Also, realizing I could not cook inside I had to fashion together a quick way to cook which included a couple pine poles driven into the earth then some old goat fencing wrapped on to act as a grate to cook my dinner and foreseeable meals until I had power. Some pictures are below.

Little did I know this would essentially be my life for the next week as the house became too cold and with no heat source I spent almost all day and most of the night outside. Once again bathing in the frozen lake and doing my dishes in frozen lake water. I only went in at night to sleep with every blanket I could find wrapped on me, the dog sleeping basically on my chest and wearing multiple layers of clothes. Looking back I would of just slept by the fire and probably been more comfortable.

My truck never started the first day but did eventually the second. When I went outside the second day and tried it did the same thing, sputtered and spit at me. This is when I decided to check the fuel lines and sure enough they were covered in a thick layer of ice. I broke off what I could and sprayed de-icer all over the fuel lines. In about an hour I had a running truck which was great to charge my phone and sit in some heat, Freja and I did for at least an hour.

My life continued this way for a week and when I checked that wonderful app for power occasionally, I slowly watched the number of people without power go down but still I had no power. Eventually the app showed all members had power and I could only laugh because that was not the case for me. I then called the company and let them know, they were quick to send a service guy out. He could not find my place so I had to walk out and meet him because the road was impassable with the truck; you would think I live in the most rural area ever. I do not actually but for some reason that is how things are here. This is also where I learned that they did not even realize there was a house back there which my sarcasm led to me saying, then why am I paying a bill at this point. The serviceman gave the expected blank stare and went on to tell me that I will always be last to get power returned because I am on the end of the line. Good to know because it allows for proper preparation in the future. Power was restored and I was sure glad to have a home with heat and water again.

These stories show the importance for being prepared for everything and being able to be self-reliant because sometimes the help just does not come. We have changed a lot around here since these situations happened. Obtaining a generator, ways to cook without power, wood stove and countless other things. These have proved to save us more times then I can remember now since we tend to lose power at least once a year for an extended period of time. I hope these stories offered a sense of entertainment and even though others do have strange experiences, my bias still believes that over the course of my life, there has been some things that have occurred that will happen to no one else. Looking back they make for great stories and good memories, even though in the moment I may have been an angry lunatic... I still chuckle to myself thinking, there is no way I could ever make this stuff up.